You know the paparazzi who stalk Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson? Someone should send them Ashley Greene’s way. The girl is desperate for someone to look at her, as she made clear yesterday while watching her maybe-boyfriend Joe Jonas play in some charity baseball game.
Just the fact that she’s trying to tempt us with a maybe-boyfriend is a sure sign that Ash is courting the cameras. OMG are they or aren’t they?!?! Uh, we don’t give a sh*t, either way. Caressing Joe Jonas’ face would have gone a long way in 2007, but these days, no one really cares about who he and his giant eyebrows are going to third base with.
The thing is, Ashley is likable without having to try so hard. She obviously scores an A on the Hotness Test and comes across as a sweet, relaxed, flip flops n’ jeans type of gal. She’s not the worst actor in Twilight - which is saying a lot - and she’s a football fan, which is the number one requirement for getting generic American men to like you.
We’ve all seen how well the sexy tomboy routine has done for Cameron Diaz, so why doesn’t Ashley slip on one of the 46 pairs of flip flops you know she has in her closet and ditch the Joe Bro for some surfer brah? We promise it’s a way better move than trying to mirror whatTaylor Swift and Taylor Lautner had: you know, a relationship dreamed up in a PR office somewhere off of Sunset.
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xoxo
Carrie
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