I think being a parent is the most challenging thing you do. That's why we're here. It's at the heart of what it is to be a human being. It's the ultimate experience because it questions everything about who you are. But it's difficult. My job takes me away from my daughter, Lily, 11, a lot, so when I am with her the time is really important. When I'm filming, I try to speak to Lily every day and let her know that I'm thinking of her and hopefully stay a presence in her life. Career-wise, lots of things are happening that I've always wanted to happen and I want Lily to have as an example a parent who is enjoying their work and is passionate about their work but at the same time I don't want it to be something that takes me away from her too much.
Breaking up with Kate [the actor Kate Beckinsale, Lily's mother] was a shock. The hardest thing was having to deal with it in the midst of so much media attention. I wasn't used to that and I wasn't prepared for the intensity of it. For a while I thought I was going off the rails. But it hasn't made me more guarded. I think you just do whatever you need to do for your children, don't you? We've just been very lucky that we've all got on very well, and that's great for Lily.
Originally, Kate and I were thinking of calling her Ruby, but when she was born she just didn't look like a Ruby. We liked names from previous generations and were thinking about Lily but we weren't sure. Then there was a knock on the door and someone was delivering flowers – they were lilies so we went, there you go, it's Lily.
I do spoil her terribly because I'm away a lot and because I don't get to live with her. But, fortunately, she's got really good sense. She's aware that she's very lucky and has a lot of material comfort, so she's very good about regulating herself. Hopefully, I'm a good mixture of being disciplined and structured as well as spoiling her!
I got my green card last Christmas and gave up commuting between London and Los Angeles. I like LA. It's grown on me and it's my home for now, but I'm here because Lily's here. I wouldn't choose to live in LA if it wasn't for my daughter. Britain is my home and that's where all my friends and family are. That's my culture and my drive, and that's where I would choose to be. So once Lily's older and is able to move around, I'll probably return to the UK.
Kate's father was a famous actor [Richard Beckinsale, best known for his role in Porridge]; Kate is a famous actor. Lily has grown up with acting as the family business. I think the surprise was when she realised that I was an actor. I don't think she quite knew what I did. It's been quite a revelation to her over the last few years: "Oh, actually Daddy's quite well known as well!" Obviously, if your child wants to do the same thing as you, you're aware of all the negative things and don't want them to have to experience that, but her path is her path. I just want her to be able to do something that she's passionate about.
guardian
~Robstenfan
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