Creating the Perfect ‘Twilight’ Valentine’s Day

Turning your Valentine’s Day into a “Twilight-themed” date may not be the most original concept in the universe. Coupling the year’s designated day for romantics with the biggest fictional romance of the 2000s has been commonplace since the first book.

However, Valentine’s Day by its very nature isn’t unique. Everyone is expected to buy sweetheart gifts, chocolates, flowers, candy, champagne, crotchless undies, etc. on the same day.
You may as well embrace the tawdriness of the holiday. It’s more fun to dive head-first into it, rather than overthink it and stand on the sidelines, pointing out its flaws — you know, like critics do with “Twilight.”
Clothing
The great thing about vampires is they look awesome in outfits most people can never wear well. Capes, velvet, white satin, red contact lenses, black period garb, large silver amulets and long flowing coats all look better on vampires in “The Twilight Saga” than they’ll ever look on you.
Still, let V-Day be your excuse to wear that purple velvet cape you’ve had since your short-lived Renaissance Fair stage. You and your sweetheart have free reign to dress as vampire as you want to be. Go ahead and cover yourself in sparkly glitter paint. Once dressed, if there are woods nearby, run through them like you’re Bella and Jacob. Run through them like you mean it.
Flowers

According to Stephenie Meyer, she isn’t sure why a ruffled tulip appears on the cover of “New Moon” because she wasn’t involved with the cover design. We can guess it stems from the idea that the ruffled tulip symbolizes perfect love. Buying a bouquet of those would be a nice gesture for even non-fans. Put the ruffled tulips in a black vase for fans, though.

If you’d like to forego the traditional flower gift, send your lover a fruit basket instead, filled only with red apples. If you have a dramatic bent, perhaps present one apple first in your hands like on the “Twilight” cover. If you’re a bit on the crazy side, you can take a bite from each one beforehand to symbolize your desire to eat the “forbidden fruit.”
Jewelry
Ladies may claim they don’t care about trivial gifts like jewelry on Valentine’s Day because they want to seem “above all that.” The truth is, though, they all become giddy with opening jewelry. (Trust me, I’ve been known to give a little jewelry…)
For newer relationships, you’ll want to start off with something like the replicas of Esme’s bracelet orRoselie’s necklace with the Cullen crest. Those are fun and sweet without much emotional weight. You’ll freak her out if you jump right to Bella’s sterling silver engagement ring. Save that until you’re ready to mate for eternity.
Candy
Obviously vampires wouldn’t eat candy, unless you count a chubby child with high glucose in his blood. Yet, you’re still human and should enjoy some tasty sweets. Necco started producing “Twilight-themed” conversation hearts after the first film. The flavors come in Passion Fruit, Tempting Apple, Orange Obsession and Secret Strawberry. I recommend eating one of each at the same and creating a candy fruit salad in your mouth.
The messages are inspired by the characters and actual dialogue: “Lamb,” “I ♥ EC,” “I Trust You,” “Trust Me” and “Live 4 Ever.” They’re fun to quote as melodramatically to your mate as possible. Or play a game where you both have to quote as much as you can remember from the scene it references.
Find these hearts at Wal-Mart and trendy stores like Hot Topic, as well as on Amazon.com.

Booze
Forget the normal champagne or wine. This is supposed to be a silly good time, so let’s go with shots! (Disclaimer: If you’re 21 or older, that is, or European.)
First up is one called, Vampire Venom. Take two packets of red Jell-O, mix it together with hot water and two cups of Cinnamon Schnapps. You can even mix in a little vodka for the brave. Pour the mixture into shot glasses and let cool in the refrigerator for four hours.
The next one is called the Blushing Bella. Combine equal parts Chambord raspberry liqueur, vodka and cranberry juice in a shaker over ice. Serve the mixture as shots and get ready to party. But please don’t drive, or run through the woods.
Movie
Dinner and a movie is a fairly typical date. However, since you’ll be vampires, don’t worry about dinner and focus on the movie selection. Chances are you’ve both seen “The Twilight Saga” multiple times, so choose another vampire love story. 1979′s “Love at First Bite” is a vampire rom-com starring George Hamilton as Dracula, who travels to New York to win over his love interest. It’s really fun, and Hamilton plays remarkably against-type as someone with pale skin.
For the more risqué (or inebriated), there’s “Embrace of the Vampire” (1994) with Alyssa Milano. She stars as a good Catholic who becomes caught in a love triangle between her boyfriend and an ancient vampire. As any “Who’s the Boss?” fan can tell you, anything with Alyssa Milano is awesome.
Romance
If you still have energy after the shots, it’s time for a little intimacy. First you’ll want to warm things up by reading some repressed love scenes from Bella’s favorite author, Jane Austen.
When the moment seems right, whichever one is braver will cool things down. Either walk outside in the freezing night or jump into a bathtub of ice. Get your skin as cold as you can stand, and then jump back into bed. Your mate will now experience what Bella felt like alongside Edward’s frigid body, and your perfect “Twilight” Valentine’s Day will be complete.
Confessions of a (Male) Twi-Hard is a “Twilight” humor column by Ryan McKee that publishes every other week on NextMovie. Read Ryan’s introductory post here or follow him on Twitter.

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xoxo
Carrie