What would Twilight be like if it were written by other authors?

There have been a couple articles published lately venturing what the Twilight Saga’s plot and characters would have been like if Twilight hadn’t been written by Stephenie Meyer.
Which, I think, supports just how remarkable Stephenie Meyer is as an author.
Some were unfunny, some are about obscure authors, and others are just excuses for hating. But they engendered some clever comments along the way.
But here’s the best of the best, culled from the articles and comments.
First, one for Stephenie:
Orson Scott Card
Exactly the same… IN SPACE!
Herman Melville
“Call me Bella.” A tome about the length of the original series investigates Bella’s monomanical search for the vampire who stole her virginity. There’s an entire chapter devoted to describing the devastating whiteness of Edward’s skin, and several on the physiognomy of vampires, starting with their skeletal structure outward.
Virginia Woolf
The novel takes place over the course of twenty four hours, during which Bella is painting a portrait of Edward and reflecting on how her femininity circumscribes her role within 20th century society.
Jane Austen
Basically the same as the original, except that Bella is socially apt and incredibly witty. Her distrust of Edward is initially bourne out of a tragic misunderstanding of his character, but after a fling with Jacob during which he sexually assaults her (amusing to no one in this version) she and Edward live happily ever after.

Read more at twilightnewssite.com

~Robstenfan